So one of my all-time favorite stories is that of George Muller, the evangelist who started an orphanage in England with barely two quarters to rub together.  I’ve been thinking a lot about Muller’s story today… I mean, there were times when he literally had no food on the table to feed his orphans, but he simply believed that God would provide.  Not once did Muller ask anyone else for money, and not one time did those children go without food over the years!  How amazing that someone could have that kind of faith to trust God in every single facet of life.

There’s a reason that story has been on my mind so much recently. Over these past few weeks, I have been reminded just how much God’s hand of provision has been on Scott and I with all of the major changes that have been taking place for us.

First big change – we have a lovely little addition to our family!  Noah Allen decided to grace us with his presence two weeks early on August 24th.  The last few weeks of the pregnancy were a little rough for me. My doctor was pretty sure I had preeclampsia.  I never thought I would say that my excessive swelling, headaches, and high blood pressure were God’s provision for me and Noah during my pregnancy. But come to find out, Noah had a huge knot in his umbilical cord.  We don’t know how long it was there, but there is a possibility he could have been born with serious birth defects or worse had he not been delivered early.  It was because of my preeclampsia that the doctors decided to take him before my due date.  And I’m so glad they did!

Second, Scott and I felt that it would be best for me to quit working because of Noah and because we really need to buckle down on support-raising.  This decision has made things quite a bit tighter financially, but it’s amazing to me how God has provided in this area, too.  So far we have lacked for nothing.  For example, a friend from church came to Scott one day and said that God had laid it on his heart to share some money with us.  Little did our friend know that we had some unexpected bills because of the baby.  That gift took so much stress and worry off of me.  But that’s not all.  We have been so blessed by the outpouring of love and support from our friends and family.  Since Noah’s birth, our church small group has provided amazing meals for us the past few weeks.  I have been given even more reasons to praise God for His faithfulness and provision.

And yet… even with all that God has done for us, there have still been days I’ve let myself worry over the uncertainty of the future.  In order to get to the Dominican by our new target date of July 2011, we have to raise 10% of our support each month.  On top of that, I’ve been dealing with the challenges of being a new mom.  But when I really stop to think about it, I don’t know why I stress myself out.  (I mean, didn’t I just write about surrendering all this stuff to God in my last blog entry?!)  In the words of George Muller, “If the Lord fails me at this time, it will be the first time.”

I MUST remember.  God provides.  I am His.  He is mine.  He has never let me down before.  So now it’s time for me to go consider the lilies.

To learn strong faith is to endure great trials.  I have learned my faith by standing firm amid severe testings.       – George Muller

In the front office at the station, we have the radio playing in the background.  Over the months, I’ve subconsciously tuned it out since I hear the same songs and commercials and voices.  But today I felt like God had a little something special to share with me through the radio – the very thing I normally pay little attention to.

This morning it was the minute-long devotional that caught my ear.  I won’t reiterate the entire devo, but this particular author talked about being pushed toward a deeper faith. He quoted 1 Peter 1:6-7 (amazing verses by the way) and said:

In order to build your faith, God will give you a dream; then he’ll urge you to make a decision; but then he’ll allow a delay, because in the delay he matures you and prepares you for what is to come.

As God delays, you’ll face two types of difficulties: Circumstances and Critics. This is a natural part of life. God designed it this way because he knows we grow stronger when facing adversity and opposition.

That really hit home for me.  Scott and I feel like moving to the DR is the direction that God has called us.  And yet it’s frustrating when people criticize our decisions.  It’s even more frustrating not to see things progress as quickly as we’d like.  I know there are many reasons for that – we’re young.  We’re both working.  We’re not as bold as we want to be in sharing our passion.   But part of me wonders if this whole idea of God pushing us to a deeper faith in Him doesn’t have something to do with it, too.

I’ve been thinking about where I would be mentally if we were already on the mission field with 100% of our support raised.  Would I have forgotten to thank God for his provision?  Would I have thought I had gotten to the Dominican quickly because of something I had done?  The author of the devo went on to say:

When we finally come to a place where the difficulties become so bad, where we’ve reached our limit, where we’ve tried everything and exhausted all our options, it is then that God begins a mighty work through us.

I had this idea in my head that when I got to the Dominican, then I would really have to start trusting God for strength, wisdom, and provision.  But right now I’m being stretched in my faith more than ever.

Growing up, I remember going on long trips with my family.  As a kid, I obviously had no concept of distance or time. I remember asking, “Dad, are we there yet?” or “Mom, how much longer?”  It was when I finally gave up trying to count minutes or mile markers that time flew and we’d be at our destination before I knew it.

Until recently, I feel like my conversations with God about the Dominican were kind of like those questions to my parents.  “God, come on.  Why aren’t we there yet?  How much longer are we going to have to deal with these barriers and difficulties that are standing in our way?”

Patience and trust are two things that are so hard for me to exercise.  But I think it’s time that I give God control.  I want to be usable instead of trying to make my own way in life.  One of my new favorite quotes is from John Piper: “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”

Instead of asking God the “Are we there yet?” question, I want my attitude to be one of complete trust and faith that He knows what He’s doing.

Ang