Recently, someone hurt my feelings. Hah! Now that some time has passed, I can objectively say that the comments uttered to my face were not meant to be a huge malignment of my character. However, the words spoken were based on assumptions about my intentions, and to be honest, the interaction stung a bit. Sadly, I’ve been replaying those words a little too often in my mind – even stacking them on top of other unthoughtful comments from previous conversations.
And then, a reality check.
Yesterday, my heart broke as I learned the news that the rest of America is buzzing about: Charlie Kirk’s death. Suddenly, my little problem – being hurt because someone tried to “put me in my place” without actually knowing my heart – seemed so small. I’ve experienced criticisms and more, but never death threats, much less an attempt on my life. I cannot fathom how Erika and Charlie’s two children will walk this painful path in the coming days.
Proverbs 19:22 says, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
This little nugget of wisdom has been a support for me today as I buckle under the sad reality of the state of our country. Our forefathers founded the colonies 250 years ago so that their children’s children could worship God all the days of their lives – not murder each other because of fits of rage or differing ideologies/political views.
Like David did in so many of his psalms, I’m praying that justice will be served now. That evil will be squelched today. That God and His character will not be maligned any longer.
I’m not exactly sure what it looks like for the Lord’s purpose to prevail this side of heaven. Sometimes, it feels like He’s being so silent in the face of evil. But the comforting truth is that God wins in the end. I rest in the fact that His timing is perfect.
Ultimately, every knee will bow before Him. Oh, the harvest is ripe! May I continue to see those around me as human beings, made in God’s image and in desperate need of Him. And may I always find ways to courageously share the Good News of the abundant life available in Jesus Christ.
We all go through seasons of mourning. I suppose you could say I’m in one of those seasons now. The different ways I’m grieving aren’t super connected to each other, but I’ve been lamenting several “deaths” in recent months.
1.) One year ago today, we received the unexpected phone call that Scott’s wonderful dad had passed away. It’s still so strange to think that the hugs, laughter, and memory-making for us as a family of 11 ended very suddenly 365 days ago.
I don’t like that Ted is gone – or that the family trips he loved to plan will no longer take place in the same way. I don’t like that he wasn’t at the church’s annual chili cook-off last week – or that there’s this giant Ted-shaped hole in the handbells choir where he used to fit.
I could pose the question, “What good has come from losing Ted?” At first glance, it certainly seems like there isn’t a good answer…
2.) I’ve been mourning in other ways as well. I’m also grieving the “loss” of a ministry I love.
After Ted died, we felt like the Lord was calling us to move back to the States to be closer to family. There have certainly been adjustments for us as we settle in to new rhythms. The kiddos are getting used to going to a new school and church. Life has been busy. However, I find that in the quiet moments, my mind can sometimes wander. I’ve realized that I am mourning the life that was mine for the past 12 years.
Ironically, the simplicity of everyday living is gone – even though I now have every modern appliance and convenience at my fingertips.
The friends who worked alongside me and experienced some very real, shared hardships are thousands of miles away.
The little sea of brown faces that I’ve come to love so dearly are just found in pictures now.
Again, I could pose the question, “Why, God? How is it good that I was removed from this precious place? Wasn’t I doing my best to serve you?”
A cursory look at my circumstances doesn’t seem to warrant such loss…
3.) Perhaps this sounds strange, but I’m also mourning the decline of our nation. To me, it’s fairly evident that the principles upon which this amazing country was founded are no longer prioritized.
Many of our Founding Fathers chose freedom, liberty, honor, integrity, and sacrifice as their guides. Some even chose Jesus. If I think too much on the current state of our nation, I literally want to bring out the sackcloth and ashes.
Sadly, I believe that this blessed land needs to experience some true hardship before a humble turn back to God will ever happen.
This is where that beautiful little Beatitude in Matthew 5:4 comes into play. Yes, I’ve been experiencing the loss that comes along with these “deaths.” But if I really think about it, I must admit that God has been so good in the midst of pain and sadness.
1.) For example, I’ve found comfort in knowing that Ted’s faith has been made sight. Because we can’t physically see him anymore, it’s hard to imagine just how happy he must be, spending the rest of eternity in the presence of the Savior.
In addition, Ted’s testimony lives on in others! The way that Ted was “salt” and “light” to those around him made a difference. In particular, I think about his grandkids. What a spiritual heritage they have because their grandpa was willing to daily live out his faith. And when I think back to Ted’s funeral, I’m still so encouraged by all the people who came – both to support our family and to honor a man who lived a good life. The stories others shared of how he touched them meant the world to me.
2.) While the ministry of Freedom has not ended, our leaving the DR has made me feel as if I’m personally experiencing another death of sorts. Yet, even as I go through this hard change, Jesus’ promise of His presence has proven itself true for me!
I’m so happy that Freedom’s work continues on. To know that the boys and girls I’ve loved for over a decade are still being poured into by others is such a comfort. This ministry never was and never will be “mine.” Jesus simply allowed me be a small part of it for awhile. What a gift!
Katie with some of our secondary gals
But God’s goodness doesn’t stop there. Now I have the privilege of serving with Freedom in a different capacity, 2,000 miles away. I’ve been able to continue working behind the scenes in a way that will hopefully serve to tell Freedom’s story of God’s provision.
On top of that, I’m grateful that we’re settling in to this next chapter here in Indiana! Our kids are making sweet friends and experiencing things they weren’t able to while living in a foreign country. I’m truly excited for these new opportunities that they’ll have to make Jesus famous right here.
10/1 – Getting ready for a band/choir concert
3.) As for my nation, I’ve lived long enough to understand that God truly does know best. There is no assurance that “my people” will return to Him in my lifetime. Hundreds of thousands of Israelites never experienced the land that was promised to them. Hundreds of thousands more watched their nation turn to idolatry and sin time after time. The thought that America is walking that same path saddens me, but the promise that rang out across that mountainside long ago still holds true today: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
I am comforted to know that someday – even if I must wait til my Savior’s return – things will ultimately be set right. Everyone will bow before God and acknowledge Him as King. I am so looking forward to that day! Until that day, may I do my part to offer His Good News to those who need it.
Jesus said that the good life belongs to those who mourn. What a strange statement. But it’s true – life is good because the Creator of the universe has promised to comfort and uplift.
Have you ever received the “perfect” gift from someone? Four years ago, that happened for my daughter Caleigh. Her brother Leyton gave her this cute little stuffed animal for her birthday, and the ensuing pictures and videos of her reaction were just too precious. You would’ve thought she’d been handed the moon.
As Jesus opens up His famous Sermon on the Mount, He promises a pretty special “gift” to His listeners. I doubt that many people fully understood at the time, but the gift couldn’t have been more perfect.
Jesus starts out chapter 5 with an interesting statement: “Blessed are the poor in spirit…”
There’s an important phrase in there: poor in spirit. Being poor in spirit doesn’t have to do with financial status; instead, it’s more about one’s posture toward God. Rather than being proud or self-sufficient, a person who is poor in spirit is one who realizes that dependence on the Creator of the universe is the only stance worth taking.
I will never lose an opportunity to bring up the Ten Booms, a Dutch watchmaker’s family who lived in Holland during WWII. The story of Corrie, her sister Betsie, and their father has been such an inspiration to me. In fact, you might say that they lived out this whole “poor in spirit” thing on a daily basis as they risked their lives by hiding Jews in their home. They subsequently suffered through prison, physical pain, hunger, ridicule, and death (for Betsie and Casper) because of that decision.
If you haven’t read The Hiding Place, run – don’t walk – to get your own copy. It’s evident that Corrie had to make choices each day – choices to depend on God or to go her own way. She said,
It is not my ability, but my response to God’s ability that counts.
Corrie understood something about living in the kingdom of God. She realized that people who relinquish control of their lives are blessed far beyond those who choose to selfishly handle things themselves.
She saw the kingdom of God for the perfect gift that it was. Surrendering her life to the King was worth it.
I’m so glad that Jesus’ offer of “the good life” is open to everyone. On the surface, it may not seem logical that anything good can come through surrender, but on the other side, an entire kingdom awaits!
When I was a little girl, I was fascinated by stories of beautiful kingdoms, powerful kings, elaborate courts, and colorful subjects. The worlds of Narnia, Sherwood Forest, and Camelot still hold much intrigue, and it’s easy for me to be sucked in to their captivating domains.
Recently, we walked through the Beatitudes at church. I love that throughout Jesus’ ministry, He used the analogy of a king ruling over his kingdom to explain things to the disciples.
I can almost imagine Him there on the side of that mountain, sitting with the Twelve, compassionately communicating truth that most assuredly seemed counter-intuitive to them. It must have sounded strange to Peter, James, John and the others to hear their mentor repeatedly teach them about this “upside-down” kingdom that He was creating.
1.) How strange that in Jesus’ kingdom, the King would have to die.
2.) In addition, the citizens would look and act differently than those in other lands.
3.) Furthermore, everyone would have to wait patiently, for in Jesus’ kingdom, evil would appear to win. Instead, it would just be a matter of time for the kingdom to be fully instated in all its beauty and glory.
The Beatitudes focus in on that second facet: the citizens of the land. What kind of people live in Jesus’ kingdom? Reading Matthew 5 on repeat has caused me to think about my own life. These eight statements that open up the Sermon on the Mount have both convicted and encouraged me in recent weeks. Through this 2,000-year-old passage, God has been reminding me of His priorities. I’m excited to walk through some of the Beatitudes on a more personal level in the weeks to come.
May God continue to teach me what it looks like to be a citizen in His kingdom. I’m so looking forward to that day when He’ll set all things right. For good. But until then, may I continue to do all that I can to build up His kingdom – right here and right now.
Do you ever have those moments where you wonder, “Does my life actually have any kind of purpose? Is any of this even worth it?”
It’s probably not kosher for a missionary to admit, but over the last 9 years, I’ve asked myself, “What in the world am I doing?” more than I care to count. I’ve experienced a thousand and one occasions where I’ve absolutely wanted to throw in the towel and call it quits.
Yet at the end of the day, something – Someone – always pulls me back.
Tonight, it happened as I was sifting through months and months of old photos. I sat at my desk and reacquainted myself with a million precious memories from years gone by. And kind of like those weeks after childbirth, the painful remembrances started falling away, leaving these golden moments, split seconds of goodness forever frozen in time. Each photo roars back at me a resounding “YES!” It is absolutely worth it all!
I loved my bygone mornings of quickly chugging fresh coffee made by Marielis’ mom at our Cabeza bus stop
It was special to watch this little one share the Good News with this older gentlemen as she explained the gospel meaning of each of her colored beads on her bracelet
Talking to Reynabel about how to be a good gal at school – and watching the wheels turn as she considered whether or not it would be a good idea to obey. 🙂
Praise the Lord! Despite each moment of weariness, disappointment, injustice, frustration, loneliness, confusion, sadness, and pain, He is worth it all!
Oft times the day seems long, our trials hard to bear, We’re tempted to complain, to murmur and despair; But Christ will soon appear to catch His Bride away, All tears forever over in God’s eternal day.
It will be worth it all when we see Jesus, Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ; One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase, So bravely run the race till we see Christ.
Sometimes the sky looks dark with not a ray of light, We’re tossed and driven on, no human help in sight; But there is one in heav’n who knows our deepest care, Let Jesus solve your problem – just go to Him in pray’r.
Life’s day will soon be o’er, all storms forever past, We’ll cross the great divide, to glory, safe at last; And we’ll all share the joys of heav’n – a harp, a home, a crown, The tempter will be banished, we’ll lay our burden down.
It will be worth it all when we see Jesus, Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ; One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase, So bravely run the race till we see Christ.
We’ve been in the DR almost 9 years. In the beginning, our days were so very full. We were learning a new culture and a new language. We were teaching in the villages. We were fixing up a house and welcoming a teenager into our home. And we were trying to keep our own 2-year-old and 5-month-old alive. I’m genuinely thankful for that busy stage, but one of the things I felt like I had to sacrifice was reading.
As we enter another busy season with new roles here at Freedom, I’ve found that the reading time I crave just isn’t as available. I’m fighting for it, for sure. But I’m also trying to remember that my personal wants and desires aren’t king. I’m a bit behind in meeting my 24 book goal, but here are my finished reads so far in 2021.
One year ago, I purchased The Splendid and the Vile on my Kindle but didn’t open it til last fall. As I finished it up just this March, I couldn’t help but think of the countless hours Erik Larson put into researching journals, intelligence documents, and other sources in order to produce this fantastic historical work. I so enjoyed this look at Churchill, his family, and his work during his first year as Prime Minister. I wonder if we’ll have world leaders like him again someday: tenacious, hopeful, convincing, and focused on the goal: preserving freedom at all costs.
I was recommended Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin. This quick read really focuses in on studying the Bible with intentionality and purpose. I appreciated Wilkin’s point about our culture’s desire for instant gratification. We easily run to study Bibles and commentaries instead of first wrestling with the text. In my own life, I’ve found that working through my questions and concerns before I look to other sources has always aided me in the learning process. I’m much more apt to recall and apply a concept if I spend the time to slowly uncover the treasure that’s hidden there in God’s Word.
I loved these thoughts from my some of my reading over the last few months:
He [Hitler] believed that even Churchill, at some point, would have to acknowledge the folly of continuing to oppose him.... “Britain’s position is hopeless,” he told his head of Army High Command, General Franz Halder. “The war is won by us...” So confident was Hitler that England would negotiate, he demobilized forty Wehrmacht divisions—25 percent of his army.1
This new surge in morale had nothing to do with Churchill’s speech and everything to do with his gift for understanding how simple gestures could generate huge effects.1
“When I look back on the perils which have been overcome, upon the great mountain waves in which the gallant ship has driven, when I remember all that has gone wrong, and remember also all that has gone right, I feel sure we have no need to fear the tempest. Let it roar, and let it rage. We shall come through.”1
One of his key men wanted to quit and join the army. “Everyone wants to go to the front,” Goebbels wrote, “but who is going to do the work here?”1
Do you know that the word disciple means “learner”? As a disciple of Christ, you and I are called to learn, and learning requires effort.2
... the heart cannot love what the mind does not know. This is the message of Romans 12:2-3 - not that the mind alone affects transformation, but that the path to transformation runs from the mind to the heart, and not the other way around.2
There are really only two possibilities in this life: be conformed to the image of God or be conformed to the pattern of this world. No doubt, you want the former. But be warned: The Word is living and active. It will conform you by dividing you. And in the dividing, miracle of miracles, it will render you whole. We become what we behold.2
Learning to pray doesn’t offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart.3
But when something is important to us, we make room for it. Prayer is simply not important to many Christians because Jesus is already an add-on.3
Both the child and the cynic walk through the valley of the shadow of death. The cynic focuses on the darkness; the child focuses on the Shepherd.3
When Jesus prays at Gethsemane “take this cup from me,” he is being real; Christians rush to “not my will, but yours be done” without first expressing their hearts (Luke 22:42, NIV). They submit so quickly that they disappear.3
Jesus, knowing that there was both doubt and belief in the room, was about to commission this group of fearful believers to carry the gospel of resurrection life to the world.... I likely would’ve thought, They’re not ready, it’s just too soon. They need to know so much more.... They need time to mature. But in the middle of the most amazing, confusing, and gloriously mind-bending moment in history, Jesus did not hesitate; he simply said, “Go.”4
Human beings are achievers, meant to build and rebuild, to grow and expand, to uproot and to plant, to tear down and to build, to dream and to achieve dreams. But every ambition and every achievement must bow to the lordship and the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ.4
In ministry, success and failure are not a matter of results but are defined by faithfulness. Faithfulness is what God asks of us; the rest is entirely up to his sovereignty and the power of his grace.4
1The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family, and Defiance During the Blitz, Erik Larson 2 Women of the Word, Jen Wilkin 3A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World, Paul Miller 4Lead: 12 Gospel Principles for Leadership in the Church, Paul David Tripp
Happy Leap Year! Here’s my February in books. And… go!
I received Sister Bernadette’s Barking Dog for my birthday from a dear friend who knows me so well! This fun book would be great coffee table decor. As her subtitle says, Florey definitely gives “the quirky history and lost art of diagramming sentences.” I know that the percentage of people in my life who care even the tiniest bit about diagramming sits around .00002%, but I’m in love. (Thank you, Mrs. Ramsey, for being my Sister Bernadette when it comes to diagramming and grammar.) In the middle of this short read, I feel like Florey breaks away from the topic at hand, but it’s an enjoyable read overall – if diagramming is your niche.
Milton Vincent’s A Gospel Primer for Christians was a birthday present for Scott, but I stole it. Heh. I wanted to devour and savor this tiny book simultaneously. Its whole premise is that the gospel is not just for unbelievers, but for everyone. Even after salvation, preaching the gospel to oneself is necessary if abundant life is to be experienced. Some great content in this concise little read. It’ll definitely be a re-read as I continue to digest the ideas here.
It’s been hard to find books that concurrently capture the attention of all three of my kiddos. After discovering that our school library has a good portion of this Magic Tree House series, I started pulling these books because they were short and easy reads. I thought they’d be perfect for my kids’ varied age ranges/interests, but I’m actually not a huge fan. The concept of siblings visiting other times and places is all fine and dandy, but the books are poorly written and the plots are slow-paced. When I’m reading these stories, I find my mind wandering. We made it through #7, but I think it’s about time for a break.
Below: some quotes I’d like to remember from this month’s reading.
In the end, I think the important thing was not what we learned from diagramming in Sister Bernadette's class, but simply the fun we had doing it. Diagramming made language seem friendly, like a dog who doesn't bark, but, instead, trots over to greet you, wagging its tail.1
When I begin my train of thought with the gospel, I realize that if God loved me enough to sacrifice His Son’s life for me, then He must be guided by that same love when He speaks His commandments to me.2
When I see persons who are materially poor, I instantly feel a kinship with them, for they are physically what I was spiritually when my heart was closed to Christ.2
Indeed, as I perpetually feast on Christ and all His blessings found in the gospel, I find that my hunger for sin diminishes and the lies of lust simply lose their appeal.... Eyes do not rove... when the heart is fat with the love of Jesus.2
And do not suppose that this is the end. This is only the beginning of the reckoning. This is only the first sip, the first foretaste of a bitter cup which will be proffered to us year by year unless by a supreme recovery of moral health and martial vigorous, we arise again and take our stand for freedom as in the olden time.3
To conclude that Jesus was a deliberate liar doesn’t coincide with what we know either of him or of the results of his life and teachings. Wherever Jesus has been proclaimed, we see lives change for the good, nations change for the better, thieves become honest, alcoholics become sober, hateful individuals become channels of love, unjust persons embrace justice.4
Good parenting, which does what God intends it to do, begins with our radical and humble recognition that our children don't actually belong to us.5
Your kids will never be what they're supposed to be or do if they lack God-consciousness.5
God's greatest and most wonderful gift to you as a parent is himself! He knows how hard your task is....5
1Sister Bernadette’s Barking Dog, Kitty Burns Flory 2A Gospel Primer, Milton Vincent 3Churchill: The Power of Words, edited by Martin Gilbert 4More Than a Carpenter, Josh and Sean McDowell 5Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family
Typical. Just typical. The power would go out on Christmas Eve. This is the one week we have to relax and just be a family.
The dangerous thoughts spread through my mind like poison as we sat there in the darkness.
So much for getting the boys to sleep. No fan to muffle the Christmas celebrations outside. And no blanket for Noah since the washer’s locked. This should be fun.
Leyton’s whimpering snapped me out of my selfish, gloomy reverie for a moment.
“Don’t cry, buddy – Daddy bought some new candles. We’ll be able to see in no time.”
Seriously. No electricity – tonight of all nights?! And right when I’m heating up dinner…
I listened as Scott fumbled in the drawer for the matches. And the guilt settled in.
C’mon, Ang. What a horrible attitude. You’re going to be mad about a simple power outage? This happens all the time. It’s Christmas Eve. Take advantage of these moments with your babies.
The match striking against the box brought me back from my raging, internal mind battle. A small light stabbed out into the night. I paused to stare at the tiny, flickering flame in front of me.
What verse have you been drilling into your kindergartners over the last month, Ang? Could you really have forgotten so quickly?
Then I almost heard the little batey voices shouting out in unison.
Luke 2:11. For unto you is born this day…
Scott lit another candle. Light radiated throughout the kitchen.
… in the city of David…
A third flame. More darkness obliterated.
… a Savior which is Christ the Lord.
Another shining candle. Each new light drowned out more of the shadows that had been lurking in the dining room – and in my heart.
The tea lights in the living room were glowing. I looked around at the bits of brightness that had collectively served to remedy my negative thoughts. My heart was humble and full. My eyes locked on my babies sitting patiently at the table.
“Wow, boys! Look at all the candles! Now we can see!”
“See!” Leyton repeated perfectly in his sweet, high-pitched voice.
“OK – sit tight! Dinner’s coming soon.”
My leftovers-in-the-microwave-for-dinner game plan changed to a new gas-stove strategy. As I continued preparing the food, I was left to my thoughts once again.
Lord, are you really trying to teach me this simple lesson? Surely I’ve learned it by now. I know Christmas isn’t about the turkey dinners and the lights and the perfectly planned parties and the presents. I know tonight isn’t about my Christmas Eve plans complete with electricity. Or… do I?
The candlelight danced across the oven backsplash as visions of a tiny Baby in a dingy, dirty manger waltzed through my mind. And I thanked my Savior anew for setting aside His throne, putting on flesh, and willingly laying down His life. For me.
The Mitcheners 