(I’ve gone back and forth about publishing this post.  I’m afraid I seem ungrateful for the ways God has so richly blessed our little family.  I know these struggles are petty and unimportant in the grand scheme, but this is me – being as honest as I know how.  However, I also want to convey that I am beyond excited to be moving to the Dominican Republic and taking part in what God has planned for us and for these precious people.)

As a parent, I now understand why people want to give their kids the best in life.  Dominican preparations continue, and I’ve found that I’ve been struggling with the idea that my boys will be “missing out” on certain things because we’re moving to another country.  When we visit a church that’s advertising their AWANA or VBS program, I think about how much fun Noah would have singing the songs and doing the crafts there.  And with his second birthday coming up in a few months, I wonder how exciting it would be to plan a party with friends and family, complete with Elmo cupcakes for all the guests and a plethora of presents for my big boy.  When we go on fun family excursions, I can’t help but think, “Will this be the last time Noah and Leyton get to play at the park?”  Or “How many more trips will they take to Grandma’s house to get spoiled?”

In my head, I know my boys don’t need certain things or experiences.  But there are times I still struggle with wanting to give them those things.

Over the past week, God has really been helping me change my mindset in this area.  And I’m realizing some very important truths.

1.) Giving my kids the “best” doesn’t mean they need the cutest clothes or the neatest toys.  It’s not that I’ll never give them anything nice when I’m able, but there is a balance.  Last time I checked, loving them and teaching them to love God and others doesn’t require much money…

2.) The things I want for them are exactly that – the things I want.  What’s most important is what God wants, and I’m pretty sure He’s not so concerned about the brand of clothing on their backs or the size of their playroom.  In a way, I’m relinquishing control.  (I think I’m going to be working on this whole “letting go” bit for the next 18 years or so.)

3.) My little dudes aren’t actually going to be “missing out”.  They will simply have different experiences than I had – hopefully some experiences that broaden their horizons and make them better people.

Just my thoughts recently.  The next couple of weeks are going to be huge for us in figuring out if we’ll actually make our projected May moving date.  Eager to get to DR soon!

Since moving back to Indiana, Scott and I have been attending Scott’s home church here in Anderson.  It has been amazing for me to get acquainted with his family friends and for us as a couple to meet new people.  Last Sunday, we had the opportunity to share with the church congregation about our journey and calling to the Dominican Republic and how we’ve gotten where we are today.  While I hope that God was able to use our little story to speak to others, our sharing actually helped me to reflect again on God’s faithfulness to our family as we continue in this waiting period.

We have crossed the 40% threshold in the support-raising process!  (Now, just 50% more to go before we can buy the one-way plane tickets to the Dominican.)  It’s easy for me to focus on the snail’s pace this part of life is taking.  I get frustrated and anxious and impatient when I look at our timeline of moving to the DR by late spring/early summer of this coming year.  Thankfully, we’ve got people praying and supporting and encouraging us along each step of the way – if we didn’t, I don’t know how I would keep pressing on.  But most importantly, I’m thankful for my ever-faithful Father who has provided the people and finances and other extra blessings so far.  We would absolutely love to make it to the 50% level by December (don’t forget – one of our current supporters will double their financial monthly gift if we reach that goal), but we know that God, in His time, will supply our needs.

Looking forward to the day we can update you all from the ground!

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On another note, it looks like October came and went without any sort of blog post from us!  We’ve been one busy family.  But I thought I’d include a few pictures of some of the “family stuff” we’ve been able to squeeze in between meetings this past month.

Reading books, stacking blocks, and walking have been among Noah’s favorite activities lately.  We’ve really been enjoying him as he learns new things to say and do almost daily.

Pumpkin carving was a new experience for the Noah-man as well!  He didn’t seem to care for the stickiness and seeds inside the pumpkin, but he was very curious about it all nonetheless.

We took Noah on his first trick-or-treat adventure this year (although last year he dressed up as a very cute little peapod).  He seemed to enjoy walking around the neighborhood more than taking candy from strangers.  But when it came to eating the goodies, he definitely had no problems.

We’ve been back for a week now from our 21-day trip to the Dominican, and I still haven’t written about our time there – partly because I take so long to process things and partly because I’ve been busy.  Overall, our family had an amazing and fulfilling month.  Scott and I learned a lot about what life will look like when we make the big move.  The trip made us even more eager to get to the field as soon as possible.  We’ve been in this waiting period for what seems like forever, so we loved getting a refreshed sense of our purpose and our roles in the Dominican.

Our biggest adjustment was dealing with Noah.  He was quite the fussy little man because he wanted to crawl, and I made him sit in his stroller all day due to the glass and trash on the ground in the villages.  But the kids loved him and treated him like their own little baby, handing him juice bottles and books and stealing kisses whenever they could.

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Even in the three short weeks we were there, we began building relationships with a few of the kids.   It was really cool to see the growth in some in just one month.  I was quickly reminded that these boys and girls are not unlike ones in the States – they want the love and attention that others can offer them; they’re learning about who they are as people; and they were born with those little sinful natures of theirs. Our time wasn’t all butterflies and roses.  We had to break up fights as kids quarreled and bickered.  Some would lie to us if it would benefit them in some way.  I’m just glad I saw that “other side” of ministry.  It gave me a fuller picture of what life will truly be like when we move to the DR in (hopefully!) the early months of next year.

Now we’re back home playing the waiting game again.  It’s so desperately hard to be patient for the support to come in.  Just clinging to the hope that there is a reason for this period in our lives and trusting that His plan is better than ours.